Aug 6, 2014
SITE: http://www.courtneyanderson.com/swca-episode-162-myth-warriors-series-you-dont-have-to-do-anything-that-you-dont-want-to-do.html
SHOW NOTES: In the MYTH WARRIORS™ series we are targeting ideas to begin to assess whether they are credible or not. We are warriors fighting to establish clarity between what is accurate and what is simply a myth (or falsehood) in life. This episode is, “You Don't Have To Do Anything That You Don't Want To Do!”
Angry. Bitter. Regretful. Ecstatic. Proud. Enthusiastic. I have
worked with all types of people throughout my career. In some
professional capacities people are at their lowest points (they are
facing divorce, child custody conflict, probating the will of a
loved one who has died, facing criminal charges, facing bankruptcy,
etc.). As an attorney I have been needed by clients to address some
of the most stressful, painful and difficult issues in life. In my
other professional roles, for example, as a consultant and
corporate educator, I have had the joy of working to elevate the
performance of a business unit, addressed challenges with employee
engagement, and assessed the organizational and cultural changes of
going public (for a privately held firm). As an university
educator I have celebrated with jubilant students on graduation
day. There are so many opportunities. Highs and lows. Celebrations
and pain. The one constant that I use to stay focused is that we
all have choices (assuming that free will
exists).
I have had conversations as an attorney with people who are facing
criminal charges and encouraged them to explore their potential
options. Engaging in different behavior (not getting intoxicated,
not stealing, etc.) may result in different outcomes (no additional
criminal charges, etc.). The question of what we "have to do" is
central to our understanding of our lives.
Some people have made the argument that they have no choices and
that they "have to work" or "pay taxes" or "keep this crummy job."
I wonder. Are there people who are healthy (who could work) but
simply choose not to? Yes. It is rare. Yet, it is an option. Are
there people who are fully aware of their responsibility to pay
taxes who choose not to do so? Yes. It is rare. Yet, it is an
option. I have heard the retort, "Well, I don't want to be
destitute! I don't want to go to prison!" I concur. I don't want
those outcomes either so those are some of the many reasons that I
choose to work and pay
taxes. We
have some ability to determine the most desired outcome and engage
in behavior in furtherance of those goals.
There are no guarantees. Some innocent people are wrongfully
convicted and placed in prison. Some people who desperately desire
a job are not offered one. The question is what do we have to do?
Much less than many of us assert that we do. We do many things
because we determine they are ethical, the "right thing" to do
(such as help someone in need, take care of a sick friend, etc.).
Some people claim that they "have to" take care of their children.
Are there people who are healthy but choose not to take care of
their children? Yes. It is very rare. Yet, it is an
option.
If we reframe our thinking and explore the possibilities of our
input and our alternatives, we may view our lives in a more
positive manner. If we feel unburdened by what "we have to do" and
instead view our lives as the result of the choices we have made
(to some extent), we may feel more empowered. So many people live
other people's lives (their parents, their community, etc.) and
don't experience the wonder and the rush of living their own lives.
Many of them would prefer to conclude that it is a myth that
"You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do," and they
are inaccurate. It
is NOT a myth. You do not have to do anything that you don't want
to do. There
are outcomes of those choices. Some of the outcomes are repugnant
to you so you reject them. That is what we all do. We can discuss
why you feel that outcome is undesirable and why [...]
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