Jul 25, 2014
SITE: http://www.courtneyanderson.com/swca-episode-154-myth-warriors-series-why-the-smartest-thing-you-can-say-is-i-dont-know.html
SHOW NOTES: In the MYTH WARRIORS™ series we are targeting ideas to begin to assess whether they are credible or not. We are warriors fighting to establish clarity between what is accurate and what is simply a myth (or falsehood) in life. This episode is, “Why The Smartest Thing You Can Say Is ‘I Don’t Know.’”
“I Don’t Know. “
Beautiful in its simplicity. Concise in its meaning. Unambiguous. Powerful. Indicative of intellect and introspection. Underused.
How often are you in communication with someone and they use a word or phrase that you don’t know? All of the time. It happens to me on a daily basis. Let’s imagine that someone was talking to me at work about types of snow skies and I have never been snow skiing, have never read anything specifically about snow-skiing and have no prior interest or knowledge about snow skiing.
What would be the best (in terms of good outcomes for me) way to respond to the following question, “What do you think of the Armada TST?”
Option A: “Yeah, those are great.”
Option B: “I think that that green eggs and ham are awesome.”
Option C: ”I don’t know.”
Option A is a lie (as I don’t know what Armada TST is so I certainly don’t know if it is great or horrible). So, I am a dishonest liar to use this type of response. It also puts me at risk for being asked the dreaded follow-up question, “Why?” I cannot answer that question so it is not a good idea to use this response as my ignorance will be exposed. If I get lucky and there is a thing called Armada TST and it is a snow ski, the person talking to me will want to keep the conversation going and talk more about this “shared interest” that we have. As I am unable to keep talking about this (as I don’t know what it is), I will have to leave or change the topic or end the conversation right after this response (which are rude behaviors). This will render me a rude liar.
As I don’t know what Armada TST actually is, I risk humiliation in this response (and I have anxiety and fear while waiting to see how embarrassed I will be when caught in my lie). If the person asking the question was simply testing me to see if I knew anything about snow skis, my ignorance is immediately exposed. What if there is no such thing as Armada TST and I use this response? What if there is something called Armada TST and it is a type of men’s watch and not a snow ski? In any case, this response shows that I am not intelligent. This actually is a snow ski and it is one of the 2013 Editor’s Choice selections at On The Snow (http://www.onthesnow.com/news/a/580093/2013-editors--choice--the-best-men-s-all-mountain-skis).
Option B is a nonsense response that is not related the question at all. People use these types of options to try to change the subject. On the positive side, at least it is not a lie (assuming that I know what green eggs and ham are and I genuinely think they are awesome). This response shows that I am not intelligent as I either did not understand the question or I really think that green eggs and ham are a type of snow ski.
Option C is clear. It shows that I understand the question (it is about the Armada TST) and that I understand that I don’t know what it means. It is honest and not rude. Ideally, I should follow this statement up with a request for knowledge such as, “I don’t know much about skiing! Please tell me about this ski and what you think about it. I would love to learn more about it!” The enthusiasm is optional but the honest answer shows that you are intelligent and interested in learning new information and acquiring new knowledge. Most people are delighted to talk and teach someone else about their interests!
What others are saying about the intelligence and power of “I don’t know.”:
"I think those words can be so incredibly liberating," she tells NPR's Steve Inkseep. "They can just make your shoulders drop with relief. Once you finally own up to what you don't know, then you can begin to have honest interactions with the people around you.” (http://www.npr.org/2013/09/18/223402246/dont-know-just-admit-it)
“And I’ve found it’s really one of the most destructive factors in business — is that everyone masquerades like they know the answer and no one will ever admit they don’t know the answer, and it makes it almost impossible to learn.” (http://freakonomics.com/2012/01/04/why-is-%E2%80%9Ci-don%E2%80%99t-know%E2%80%9D-so-hard-to-say-a-new-freakonomics-radio-podcast/)
Let’s discuss how to show our intelligence and intellectual curiosity by using the powerful (almost magic) words, “I Don’t Know.”
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